Friday, February 04, 2011

Please pardon our appearance while we work on our anonymity.

I have always taken care on this blog to disguise the identity of our family, both us and more-so our kids, but please bear with me as I revamp it anyway. Due to the recent troubles facing another blogger in our line of parenting, I have created a new system of anonymity for my own blog and am implementing it post-by-post. Therefore, almost all of my posts are currently in draft (those that already contain nothing I wish to change are left up). I will be going through from the beginning and re-posting each one. This has already been a major pain, having done a great deal of editing already, but I refuse to take this blog down. It's too valuable. Foster parents need the support of others who have been in their shoes. Because there are so few of us, and especially in certain places, it can be extremely difficult to connect with other FPs. It is priceless to be able to read about others' experiences, commiserate with them, learn from each other, and have a truly knowledgeable sounding board. It is in the interest of foster children for foster parents to be able to access this kind of support online. So, I'm here. There are just going to have to be some changes. For the sake of explanation, they will be as follows:
*I have always altered certain details that pertain to our kids, but I am enhancing this. The important aspects of the story are still there, but most circumstantial details are falsified.
*I will be using the term BP for any birthparent and refer to them using the gender neutral pronouns ey, eir, em, eirself. I know this is going to be annoying because it's different, but once you get used to it, it's easy. Just take the plural form of "they" and shorten it. BP has issues but ey loves eir child. Other people can try to help em, but these are issues ey will have to work out for eirself. I know. But it's the least annoying of all the gender-neutral pronoun sets I found.
*I will be using the alias "Lynn". I will refer to my wife as "Rae". These are not our names, but each one has certain significance to us, so I will not find it difficult to stick to.
*I have deleted the link to my new blog about our baby, as I will not be able to be as anonymous there. Please email me and briefly explain who you are, if you don't have it and wish to follow along there.
This is only a temporary post, in itself. I will delete it when I am done revising, and include a reference guide to the above alterations in the sidebar so that new readers can understand me (and older ones can remind themselves if they forget!) My apologies, but this revamp is probably going to take a very long time, as I have other priorities going at the moment, but I hope you won't mind a long stroll (crawl) down memory lane as I sift through our history to leave you with what is most important. Thank you again for being out there!


Fifi said...

Great idea, sounds like a lot of work, and from someone who will benefit... big thankyou.

BP has issues but ey loves eir child. Other people can try to help em, but these are issues ey will have to work out for eirself.

sounds like a Dorset accent. That's gonna make me laugh.

Laura said...

Can you clue me in to what happened? Yours is the second blog I've discovered that's gone anonymous due to another blogger losing her kids. My partner and I just started fc/adopt training this week and I'd like to find out what happened so I can figure out how much is safe to blog...

starevelina said...

Hi, Laura. Nothing in particular happened. I just happen to be aware of the first one, who I believe did not actually lose her kids but did have some major troubles with the system over it. I'm actually not so much concerned about CPS as about BPs or other people who know our kids recognizing themselves or the kids from the details (I've never used their names, but I guess I'm just paranoid about someone connecting the dots of gender, age, time frame, family constellation, circumstances, etc.) So, I may be going overboard with it a bit, but I really want to code all that so the story can get across without being recognizable.
As for what you can blog. Basically, anything but the name and photo (or video). Of course, every state is different, but as I understand it you simply can't publish their face. Take pictures that don't show their faces if you want to share. For your own sanity, you probably want to make up names and avoid including info about the court cases, etc. Good luck fostering and have fun blogging!